Why the hell not?

So yea its like 6am sunday morning...pulled another all nighter working on some logos for the studio and another side project i hope to get launched in the coming year. Got some papa roach cranking in the radio and texting to an ex gf, multi-tasking baby!! My body is starting to make it real clear that I need to sleep soon but I will eventually. In order to be a success you have to willingly push yourself beyond all that you know, are comfortable with, and willing to do up to that point in order to reach that next level.
Today was a seriously awesome day. Woke up after a good night sleep and had a blast of positive energy wash over me. Been up and down emotionally lately and im sure it has something to do with the high dose of meds ive been giving myself beyond the prescribed amount. The pills I take are meant to balance me out and so when I add more than I am supposed to, things are gonna get interesting for awhile and i may have done more damage than is easily seen. Gonna call the doc and see what their opinion is. Cant afford to have any more relapses considering all the plans I have in my head and slowly putting into motion.
A friend had a rough week and really just an ass kicking of a year so far and I told her tonight was gonna be a relaxing night for her. Spent the day cleaning the house, making a homemade meal with a spinach and lettuce salad mixed with carrots, cheese, cucumber, bacon bits, and homemade garlic croutons. The entree was parmesean chicken that I marinated in a garlic onion and oregano butter for a few hours. Had some mash potatoes and corn on the side. dessert was homemade cinnamon chocolate cookies. I had the table all nice and fancy for her and then went and picked her up. We had a great dinner and I think this was the best one i cooked for her so far....lol. Got plenty of leftovers and im ready to grub!!
The rest of the night went really good and Im not gonna share because she is probably reading this and I have a feeling i'll be getting a text about it sometime today. :-)
I was thankful that she let me spoil her tonight because its something that I love to do, take care of those i care about. Sometimes its the simplest things that help us get through whatever it is that we are going through, and nothing says I am here for you like a special dinner just for that person. :-) Gonna save my thoughts on that for another posting.
I recently picked up the movie called "The Social Network." The movie is about the beginnings of Facebook and how the founders managed to build such an internet phenomenon with a few short months. One of my favorite scenes in the entire movie is where one of the supporting characters reads the newspaper and the article about Mark making a site that gets so much traffic it literrally crashes Harvard's network. "He built this site in less than one night, got over 22,000 hits, and he did this while he was drunk. He blogged about it while building the site." LMAO. The movie is filled with intelligence and the hilarious comments that come from the situations make this a great movie.
Facebook came out of a man who just got dumped, was drinking away his pain while blogging about the situation, and wham! He puts a site together that crashes Harvard then eventually leads to Facebook as we know it today. I was watching this movie and it hit me like a slap across the face! Why the hell not? He put this site together simply cuz he thought it would be a cool idea and wasnt really worried about where it would go, he just had an idea, put it out there, and then let destiny take over from there. How many times have I sat on my couch or at the bar trying to drown my pain or depression in alcohol? How many times have I been dumped or rejected and started drinking and writing crazy stuff, yet never did anything with what I wrote down? More times then I care to recall.
There comes a time in every one of our lives where we get tired of the life we have and get tired of the dead ends that we keep running down thinking that this is the correct way to go. I reached this point this week and it really came full focus while watching the movie. The dude started a site that made him a billionare simply cuz he was pissed and drunk. He had the attitude of why the hell not? what have i got to lose?
Bigger the risk, bigger the reward or loss.
The question isnt whether or not we will win or lose when taking the risk. Its the question of whether or not we will take the risk in the first place. Losers are losers cuz they dont ever try. Just because you lose doesnt mean your a loser, it means shit happens and not always the way we want, so cry a little then get up and keep moving. I have lost 2 jobs in the past 2 months, lost a year chasing a dream that never came full circle, lost my house and the sense of independence that comes with a man having his own territory. Lost more money than i like to think about investing in pipe dreams, lost sleep battling depression and other demons, lost friends and family in various fights and bad decisions made on my part. So yea, needless to say, I got a small idea of what loss is about. Have others lost more then I have? Yea. I know a few personally who have lost unimaginably more in their lives this past year. Yet this isnt about the loss, its about what the person does after the loss. Each degree of loss has its time necessary to get over it, and some we can never get over, yet if we let the loss keep us down then we will continue to lose. We will be standing still soaking in our defeat while life passes us by like we are some begger on the street who is so broke he cant even afford to ask for a penny. Life at times decides to give us some help and a break, but it never really lasts long cuz if it did, we would never grow as people.
I have reache the point that I have literally nothing else to lose. All that i have is my dignity and pride and creativity and willingness to kick some ass while i spread my wings and soar to the heights of success in this life and shine a light for others to follow. I mean seriously, if a Borderline Personality, emotionally interesting, skinny white guy from a small truck stop on I-95 can pick his scrawny ass up from the ground and be something of a success, then shit anyone can do it.
Will they? Will you?
These are the key questions that we each have to answer in our own lives. If you say your gonna do something, then shit, do what you say, screw the consequences! Be smart about it of course but dont allow yourself to overthink it the point that you dont act. So many things stall because we spend all of our energy searching out every possible pro and con. There is no end to the pros and cons that can be found if you continously spend time on a certain subject or decision. America was started because some english dudes across the ocean said they were sick of living the "dream" of serving the king and subjecting themselves to the destiny all of their ancestors had fulfilled before them. They said "we will possibly die" and never see our home or families again, but they still did it. I see them as having the Why the Hell Not? attitude. Shoot they were gonna die sooner or later, so why not take a crazy adventure across the ocean and see what else is out there. I am here today encouraging you to a level of craziness of ass kicking boldness because my ancestors told the king to kiss their ass; they're gonna do their own thing. Win or lose, they at least will be able to say they stepped out and tried.
I have some insanely cool ideas that I want to see happen and you know what, no one is gonna come along and say hey mike, lets start this dream together and you just sit back and enjoy the ride. I have to step up and sieze every ounce of life that is left for me and show myself that I have what it takes to be a success. The dreams and ideas in my head will never be worth anything until i stop whining about the sorry excuses for dreams that have been short lived, and start pushing myself to the limits of what I know and then push farther, straining with all I have to show myself and the world that I have just begun to succeed. Stretch out my hands and shackle myself to the winds of fate, destiny, and karma which shall steer me in all paths of this thing I call life.
It is time for me to relax a little and possibly even sleep but we'll see.
Just rememember that no matter what life throws your way, shit could be worse and it could be better. Losers stay down, but winners get their asses handed to them day in and day out, yet they still come back for more.
What are you?