So yea....right now i am completely zoned out tired and just a little pissed but i'll be calm in a little. The pipsqueek from work confronted me tonight and asked me straight up if i was talking shit about him behind his back. I said flat out yep. I have been and I dont care. You want to talk to me like im some boy that has no clue what he's doing, you damn right im gonna talk shit behind your back. He asked me to be straight up with him and after hanging around with someone who has reminded me that honesty is really the best policy, i didnt hold back. The little tweerp kept trying to interupt and I made it clear that if he couldnt handle the truth the keep his little ignorant mouth shut before someone shuts it for you. He asked me what did he do and I told him blankly that he lost my respect out the gate when he talked to me like i knew nothing and he was the shit. Did he mean to come across that way? Maybe, maybe not. But the day that he opened his mouth was the wrong day and I told him blankly that I was seconds away from dropping his ass to the floor that first day we worked together. I have been working in the kitchen in some shape or form since I was in high school. Been to college, have run small restaraunts, and have been certified as a trainer for a national restaraunt chain. Dont come to me like i have no clue what I'm doing when your ass has 2 pans going with only two orders and the head cooks are out of broccoli, which is our stations responsibility, and I have to come up from the back where I was prepping shit for our station, just to put broccoli in the mic so the point guys can get the food out at correct times. I mean dude dont open your mouth and talk shit unless you damn sure can back it up, especially with me in the kitchen. I suck at alot of things, but hell i ran Night Prep, helped out on fry station, put ribs in the smoker, and kept the line cooks stocked with all the stuff that they needed when I worked at smokey bones. This fool has no idea what tree he has decided to bark up cuz even though he may be the station trainer now dont mean shit to me. Knowing one station is cool, but i can run circles around you motherfucker in that station, and keep stock prepped, and assist the point guys with getting food out to the servers. Im not sure how my boss took it but at this point I dont give a shit. They want that loser to be the head of the station, fine i'll let the prick have it cuz it dont mean shit as far as his ability to be an asset to the team. Lazy fucking prick. Im not gonna apologize for anything i said or did, because i literally saw myself grab him by the back of the head and smash his face full force into the stove top, which is round and pure steel...would have knocked the fucking piece of shit unconscious...either he or me had someone watching out for us cuz it was surely about to be a fucking massacre. I was just coming down from the overdose of prozac and had worked out for 3 days straight and just was in that frame of mind and people at work saw it. Will i get fired from this job. Only time will tell. Will i let this prick be the cause. Maybe. cuz right now i really just want to fuck him up and not stop till the skinny little sucker is no longer black cuz i beat it out of him. The last thing you ever want to do is mess with someone who finds themself backed into a corner, already been through hell and severly wounded, and have the mindset that there is nothing more to lose. That is the wrong pan of shit to jump into cuz you sure as hell will not survive, or if you do, you'll wish to god you kept your sorry cock sucking lips shut.
Ok i should probably stop cuz im straight up in a fighting mood right now. Heard a song yesterday while I was getting my new tattoo done. Its by the band named Clutch and the title is Binge and Purge. The song was cool but when it got to the end i was like holy shit this is awesome. "C'mon motherfucker lets throw down, c'mon motherfucker lets throw down." if that aint a true hardcore rock fight song, i dont know what is.
So about the title to my blog. I was driving home from a friends earlier today and texting one of my other friends who felt like she wasnt important to me because i was in her eyes ignoring her. I did my best to inform her of why i hadnt responded to her and she says she was cool with it but i could tell she wasnt. The thought came to me that the people in my life pay a price to be part of it. I am easily not the greatest person to walk the earth. I can be the sweetest most genuine guy and lover, then something happens and its straight up asshole time. I am seen as unstable by many but its just the way i think, with a mind that is always exploring and wanting to learn, and a spirit that is wild to the core. Some people end up being the punching bags that i use to take out life's stress upon, others become the victims of my war against myself, and then there are others who really dont endure much and yet they are usually the ones who dont recieve much from me except the basic human respect and toleration. So i guess the ones who endure more are better because they pay a higher price but they recieve a greater return. At first i didnt see this thought going this way but as with writing, the thought is merely the knock on the door. No telling what is on the other side and where it will take you, but for me as someone who lets the hand of life guide my words, i just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Well speaking of rides, its time for me to take one to the bed and see where my sleep will take me. LoL. I have alot more in me to put down on here but for now i'll sleep on it. Stay tuned and stay warm.
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