Another year

So its 2:30 in the morning on the final day of 2010. Haha wow its interesting to say that. I am not sure if its just because things that use to seem important dont really matter that much anymore, or if its because i'm 27 and I have seen enough years come and go that im not really all that ya know "woohoo, a new year" anymore. Lol. I guess it could also be the fact that each year I have set out with great expectations, mainly for my personal development, then somewhere down the road find that this expectations fall short and I am lost wondering what happened to the excitment and energy that I entered the new year with. Taking time to think about this I am realizing that sometimes the hardest part of the new year resolutions is the actual doing of the resolutions and when the going gets tough, how much am I willing to sacrifice in order to see these resolutions accomplished. My friends and associates know my love of running. To get out into the woods or just around the block, and push my body to its limits with the purpose of strengthening it and preparing it for the longer runs. When I get up and start prepping for my run, I like to of course stretch and then kinda shake myself into focus. Sorta like psyching myself up for the run and the obstacles that could come against me. I know its going to be hard, long, challenging, this time of year freezing cold, and yet at the same time, its going to be a freakin blast. Then once i've got myself pumped for the jog, I start out with a relatively strong pace. Eventually as i get into the run, usually about 15 min into it, I get into my rthym and seem to sorta just flow with the jog and let my mind wander. For the most part i keep a good pace but as the run progresses and the terrain changes, my body starts telling me its close to the limits of what is comfortable and normal for it, and begins to naturally put itself into defense mode and this is when the level of discipline and commitment is seen. If I yield to the demands of the body telling me its not liking this level of strain and pain, then I will never be able to grow stronger and be able to withstand more, thus allowing me to run longer and faster. So this is where I start to push myself and begin to really focus on the jog and this requires more energy both in my body and in my mind. The body starts to release certain chemicals and it starts to burn off the calories and sorta cleanses the itself, because its under more strain and needs to tap into its energy stores in order to continue functioning under the strain.
Starting off the new year is in alot of ways for me like prepping for the jog. I have the goals and energy and the desire to run at full speed ahead, then as the year progresses and things start to seem to pile up, the chance to stop living and just accept life as it is comes into my mind and its this time that I have to decide whether or not to accept the easier and less demanding way to live, sorta like going for a walk, or choose to continue the pace I set out with and accomplish the things I have set out to do. I guess over the past couple years it seems that the pace has gotten alot harder to maintain, and so each time i start off another year, the past seems to come back harder and harder and I wonder earlier and earlier whether or not I will be able to keep up with the pace I started off. In other words, i have accomplished fewer resolutions and so each time i dont end up where i set out to at the end of the year, I wonder if the next year will be different.
This year has definately been one of the fullest times of my life. I have spanned the spectrum of this rollercoaster filled theme park called life, seeing many friends of the past slowly fall away, while finding love, losing love, finding what I thought was love, then realizing that I still have alot to learn about love. I have definately had some interesting adventures and have been shown by various friends the unique sides of life. Finally able to go on the road trip that me and my bro have talked about doing for years, shooting up to New York City for a day, hanging out in Times Square eating new york style pizza at 3am then having to hit the road and head back home to be at work at 2pm. Lol. now that was a freakin insane and awesome adventure. The following week I found myself spending a few days in Miami, which all in all was a challenging but insanely cool experience. Still have to say that New York was the better of the two, but then again Miami has an atmosphere all its own; as the bartender at the hotel told me, its a good place for those who dont know themselves to come and hide out. I have set various goals and have definately went off track in various parts of my life, and yes I truly do have regrets from this past year, but I was also able to meet one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever set my eyes on and so it wasnt an all around bad year.
For this year I think the one biggest resolution I have is that I will stand up and fight and truly live and enjoy this coming year. Do I have any clue of what this year is going to bring, hells no. Do i have some goals that I want to see accomplished, yes. Will I accomplish those goals. I would say yes but as I have learned, life can and will slap your ass to the ground just to see how much your willing to endure in order to accomplish your goals, and this may seem like a bad thing, but its also life showing you just what your made of and also whether or not the goals you have set are really worth the investment.
So what is my new year resolution? To say fuck it and simply live the life I want and show the world what kind of person I am. This past year has definately been hard but I am not as happy to see it go as I am others in the past, but its time for another race to begin and I'm stoked for what the terrain will bring.
In closing I wish to quote Robert Frost. "I have taken the one less traveled by, and this has made all the difference." Happy New Year.